I had an unplanned pregnancy.
There, I said it. I wasn’t planning to get pregnant only a month and a half into my marriage. If things had gone according to my plan, we would only just be beginning to talk about starting to have kids. Instead, we celebrated our son’s first birthday.
If things had gone according to my plans, we would have paid off a good bit our student loan debt. Instead, we’re almost done paying off the delivery bill.
Truth is, it was better for me to have an unplanned pregnancy.
When You’re Not Planning To Have A Baby
When we first got married, I didn’t want to have kids right away. Don’t get me wrong, I wanted to at some point. But definitely not within our first year of married life.
Why? Because I was well aware that having kids would change the dynamics of our relationship, yet again. Getting married changed it in many ways (good ways), but I didn’t want to rush and add even more changes that quickly. I wanted time to adjust to being married and doing life with another person.
But that didn’t happen.
Instead, we soon found out that I was pregnant. I wasn’t really upset about it, but I wasn’t excited at first, either. It was a huge disruption to my plan.
Honestly, I just wasn’t mentally ready for it.
The Truth To Unplanned Pregnancies
In retrospect, I’m glad that we had our son when we did. Sure, I still would have liked to have been able to pay off more of our debt rather than adding medical bills to our regular student loan payments.
There are lots of things I would have liked to have done, but the truth is, having our son was better.
No, it wasn’t in our immediate plans. Yes, it interrupted some of our previous plans. But having him in our lives is way better than all our plans.
The truth is that even if you weren’t planning to get pregnant, doesn’t mean that it was a bad thing. In fact, it’s a huge blessing. One you may not have been expected, but were gifted with anyway.
The truth is that God knew we needed our son, even when we didn’t know.
The truth is that I’m much happier celebrating Elijah’s first birthday, rather than celebrating less debt, or anything else.
And if this is your first pregnancy (it was my first!), let me tell you this: it’s worth it.
It doesn’t always feel like it, especially when you’re huge and uncomfortable all the time. But it really, really is worth it, planned or not.
And you will have no idea how much joy it will bring you unless you let God show you what He has planned for you and your baby.
How To Cope With An Unplanned Pregnancy
So, what do you do when you find out you’re having an unplanned pregnancy? If you’re excited about it, great! If not, it’s okay. The excitement will come, if you allow it. It’s okay to be nervous, it’s okay to be unsure. It’s even okay to be a little sad about plans that may need to be set aside. Rest assured that they are being set aside for something better.
1. Eliminate Fear
In retrospect, I think one of the big reasons I wasn’t excited right off the bat was because I was nervous about it. Maybe even a little bit afraid. It’s a big thing, after all, growing a little person inside you and then delivering them into the world. That’s not even counting taking care of them after they arrive!
It’s okay to be nervous, afraid, or unsettled. Take the time to educate yourself on everything that is happening. The more you understand what is happening to you and your body, the better you will feel about it. The biggest fears tend to stem from the unknown.
2. Start Preparing Now
Don’t wait until the last minute to figure things out. Sure, you may not have planned to get pregnant, but that doesn’t mean you can’t plan from there on out. Start researching the things you’ll encounter while pregnant. Start formulating a birth plan (be aware that it can change at the last minute though!).
The more prepared you become, the less nervous you will find yourself. By being thoroughly educated about your pregnancy, you can tame any fear and be prepared for whatever comes your way.
3. View It As A Gift, Not A Burden
Your baby is a blessing, planned or not. Don’t forget that.
Whether you’re married or single, don’t let yourself think that your unplanned pregnancy is a burden or a curse. Every baby, expected or not, is a gift. Your unplanned baby is the gift you didn’t know you needed. Trust that God knew better than you, and let your baby be a blessing to you.
And if you’re struggling at all, feel free to reach out to me! I would be more than happy to talk to you and help you through it.